I was honored this week to be featured in Forbes in a regular column called “Women We Love”.

You can see the article here, or click through to read it on Forbes.com

The Original Marissa Mayer: How Patty Azzarello Became a Tech CEO at 38

“There’s a vital difference,” says Patty Azzarello, “between working hard and succeeding.”

One of the perks of being a business writer is you get tons of free books from publishers. The downside, of course, is when you get so many they start to accumulate in large stacks that topple over if you so much as look at them wrong.

Such was the state of my book collection when I received a copy of RISE: 3 Practical Steps for Advancing in Your Career, Standing Out as a Leader, and Liking Your Life by Patty Azzarello. Patty made a name for herself by becoming the youngest general manager of Hewlett-Packard at age thirty-three, running a $1 billion software business at thirty-five, and becoming a CEO at thirty-eight without – as she says – “becoming a self-centered, miserable jerk.”

I confess that I fully expected to thumb through the book and add it to the teetering pile, but it was so deliciously entertaining and so relevant to women in the workforce today that I just had to get Azzarello on the phone. Below she shares what she considers to be the “secret” to her remarkable success, how to toot your own horn without being annoying, and the best way to handle a toxic boss.

Aside from hard work, to what do you attribute your own extraordinary rise, particularly at the beginning of your career?

“I’m not afraid to reach outside my comfort zone. There were many times where the steps I took at work were truly terrifying, but what I learned through the process was that you try – and if you fail, you try again. A lot of people don’t like to be scared, but I was willing to be scared and move forward anyway.”

So tell us about a time when you failed.

“Very early in my career I was put in front of an audience that I wasn’t properly trained for. At the end of my presentation, I started taking questions from the crowd and – to my supreme embarrassment – I didn’t have answers. I kept saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’ll have to get back to you.” Eventually, someone said – very loudly – to my colleague, “Why did you bring her? She doesn’t know anything!” I was crushed and that experience was very painful – but it didn’t kill me. It gave me an opportunity to learn really fast what was important in my job. When you put yourself out there you’re going to be uncomfortable at times, but you also learn so much. Don’t shrink away from being put on the spot and being judged. Seek it out! It makes you better.”

What advice would you give to someone who actually wants to get uncomfortable but doesn’t feel she is getting those stretch opportunities?

“Face up to the fact that hard work alone isn’t enough. A lot of people think that isn’t right or fair and, while they may be right, it is the reality. You have to make creating visibility for yourself a priority and you can’t just let the work fill up all of your time. That said, the big question is how to do this in a way that isn’t annoying, right? The key is to start with the result. I actually recommend that people take time to create a quick communication plan for their career – who needs to know about what you do, and what are your plans to tell them? Don’t just toil away into obscurity. Share what you do and what you know.”

You’ve managed a lot of employees in your career. Is there anything you can point to from your experience that seems to be holding women back in particular?

“Definitely working at the wrong level. And what I mean by that is I see women get promoted, but they’ll still hold on to the work they used to do. You have to remember every time you step up a level, what’s important in the new role is different. Many people – this doesn’t just apply to women – will try to do the same job, just with more staff. What they fail to recognize is they should be doing a different job entirely. Learn what competence means at each new level and be prepared to let go of what made you great last time.”

Toxic bosses are a huge issue in the workforce today. How do you recommend employees handle it when they feel they’re being completely mismanaged?

“That’s a tough one because toxic bosses can make you hate your whole life. It’s important to recognize that if you have a toxic boss you need to put up some sort of mental barrier to protect yourself psychologically. Then, take a hard look at the job and ask yourself whether or not you are gaining valuable experiences in that role that will set you up for the career you want. If the answer is yes, it might we worth it to hang in there. If the answer is no – that is, if you’re not learning and growing and taking on new opportunities that will serve your future – then you may want to look elsewhere. You can survive a toxic boss but you have to make the trade-off on purpose as opposed to allowing yourself to be a victim.”

I read recently that women are “overmentored and undersponsored” at work. Do you have any thoughts on that from your experience?

“I’d agree that there are a lot of companies out there professing their support for women, but not a lot of women getting ahead in those organizations. Either way, I’d put this back on the individual. If you’re serious about your career, don’t leave getting sponsorship to chance. Don’t wait for someone to pop out and be your sponsor. I’ve invested in finding mentors throughout my career and, when it clicked, I asked for sponsorship and made my aspirations very clear. I’d say, ‘This is what I want to do. How can you help?’”

If you could go back and give one piece of career advice to your 20-year-old self, what would it be?

“Stop pretending to be 40 before you’re 40. I spent a huge amount of the earlier part of my career pretending to be older so people wouldn’t think I was incompetent or undeserving of positions I had. I wish I would have just allowed myself to be confident earlier and let the rest go.”

For more on Emily Bennington, visit www.emilybennington.com or follow on Twitter @EmilyBennington

You can find Patty at www.AzzarelloGroup.com, follow her on twitter or facebook, or read her book RISE…3 Practical Steps for Advancing Your Career, Standing Out as a Leader, AND Liking Your Life.